EIGHT QUESTIONS BEFORE CONFRONTING A BROTHER
1.
Should love
hide it?
“Hatred stirs up strife, but loves covers
all sins.”(Proverb 10:12)
“And above all things have fervent love
among yourselves: for love shall cover the multitude of sins.” (I Peter 4:8)
2.
Is my attitude
and motive right?
“Follow
peace with all men and holiness without which no man shall see the Lord”
(Hebrews 12:14)
“Blessed
are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God (Matthew 5:9)
a. Am I trying
to help the person? (John 15:13)
b. Is this for
God’s glory? (I Corinthians 10:31)
c. Am I trying
to get even? (Proverb 11:29)
3.
Are there past
unsettled offenses?
“And
why behold the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considers not the beam
that is in thy own eye? Or how will thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out
the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou
hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shall thou
see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.” (Matthew
7:3-5)
4.
Is my timing
right?
“A
word spoken in due season, how good is it!” (Proverb 15:23b)
“To
every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose…a time to keep
silence, and a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7)
5.
Are my
words/intents loving?
“Let
no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth but that which is good to
the use of edifiying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers…Let all
bitterness, and wrath and anger, and clamor and evil speaking be put away from
you with all malice. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving
one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:29
ff
6.
Have I prayed
about it?
“Be
anxious for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with
thanksgiving let you requests be made know unto God. And the peace of God which
passes all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
(Philippians 4:6, 7)
7.
Is restoration
to fellowship my goal?
“Brethren,
if a man be overtaken in a fault; ye which are spiritual, restore such an one
in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.”
(Galatians 6:1)
8.
Is my
pride/ego [‘sticking out’] the cause?
“Only by pride comes
contention, and with the well advised is wisdom” (Proverb 13:10)
Basic
Offenses: Rebellious Actions,
Attitudes and Speech
1.Bitter
Attitude/will you please forgive me for being bitter toward you? (Eph. 4:31;
Hebrews 12:15)
2.Refusing
to obey/honor parent/authority/employer/teacher/I realize I was wrong will you
forgive me?
3.Complaining
about parent’s actions/I realize I was wrong, will you please forgive me?
(Ephesians 6:1, 2)
4.Improper
behavior on a date/My actions/advances were wrong, will you please forgive me?
(I Thessalonians 4:1ff)
Daniel’s
Godly Appeal to Authority
1.Appeals
with a right attitude (Daniel 1:12) “Please, let us be proved”
*Not contentious, Not condemning, Not
condescending, Not coercive
2.Offers
a reasonable alternative (Daniel 1:12) “Ten days...give us pulse (veggies, seeds,
grain, lentils) to eat
3.Gives
final say to his master/not demanding (Daniel 1:13) “As thou seest, deal with
thy servants.”
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